From medicine to philanthropy and from education to arts, the dynamic couple of Ravi and Seshu Sarma impact our lives – all along with their trademark smiles and effervescence.
“ I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” – Albert Schweitzer
They are both physicians. He is the extrovert – effervescent, sunny, and possessing a smile that would put a 100-watt light bulb to shame. She is quiet, almost reticent. However, what permeates her personality is a sincerity and forthrightness that makes you realize her quiet strength and determination. The first thought that comes to mind when you think of Ravi and Seshu Sarma is the selfless way in which they have served the community while downplaying the exceptional qualities they possess – both as physicians and as human beings.
Ravi, the oldest of six siblings, laughingly recalls that even though his mother may not see it his way, memories of his childhood include always being a step behind her to help with the chores. As the son of a physician, he chose to follow in his father’s footsteps and was one of the first few people to leave his town of Vishakapatnam to come to Chicago and do his residency in 1973. “The first thing that hits you is the freedom. Living in a dorm and mingling with the opposite sex so freely required a lot of discipline to behave! I was also surprised to meet so many Indians who were not from my part of the country. I went to work in a public hospital and was shocked at the poverty. But what impressed me most was the amazing work ethic that people in the US demonstrated.”
A year later Ravi went home and married Seshu. “I knew of her, as she was my junior in medical school, but it was purely an arranged marriage.” She is the third of four children and was brought up in a household where her father was a staunch communist who did not work. Her mother struggled to run a household but was determined to educate her girls when the trend for girls was to marry in their early teens. Seshu was the first one in her family to go to medical school, just as her sister was the first girl to go to college. “My mother had to fight for it.”
Seshu joined Ravi a year later in the US. For her, coming to the US was like coming to another planet. “I had never stepped out of my city, never sat in a car. At 21, I felt like a 10-year old. I stepped out of the airport and was lost. I couldn’t speak English well, and Ravi refused to spoon-feed me. When I decided to learn to drive, he just gave me the number of the woman who taught him and asked me to fend for myself. Initially I resented this, but I realize how independent and self-reliant it made me in a very short time.”
Ravi was offered a fellowship at Emory and arrived in Atlanta in 1976. “I used to live in an apartment that is a couple of miles from the house I live in now,” he recalls. “So, in 26 years I am still where I was!” Though the people were polite and friendly, there were some undercurrents of rejection as regards immigrants. When Seshu was applying for residency in pediatrics, the chairman of the department candidly told her that he would not take a foreigner. When Ravi went to the dean, the latter approached the chairman of pediatrics and asked him to give her a chance. The chairman interviewed her and said, “Now, I still won’t take you.” The Sarmas went back to Chicago, where she did her residency and he continued with his fellowship at the University of Illinois until he was invited back to Emory and offered a faculty position. He worked at Emory until 1995 before finally going into private practice.
While most immigrants who come to USA chase the American dream of material affluence, the Sarmas chose a different path. “As physicians, we realized that something had to give. We decided that family came first. I stayed in the university system and gave up many opportunities to go up the ladder so that I had more time with kids. My wife decided not to go into private practice. We juggled our schedules in such a way that one of us was always home for the kids.” Ravi also invited his parents to come and live with them once they grew older. He feels the children benefited tremendously by having their grandparents with them.
Ravi’s parents took time to adjust, but because of the couple’s involvement in cultural and community activities, there was always something going on in the house. “My parents would also be part of the labor force – helping out and entertaining people. Our kids, Indira and Gopal, say that was the best thing that could have happened to them. They were always exposed to an enormous amount of cultural activities around the house. Indira is now directing an Indian students annual play called Ghungroo at Harvard. Last year, she directed the group in putting together a wonderful program of Indian classical dances. She said it came easy to her. We always spoke our native language at home, and we continuously made sure they read and wrote in Telugu.” In 1991 the Sarmas decided to spend an entire year with their children in India. Seshu took a sabbatical for one year. Ravi stayed there for three months. The Sarmas took permission from the school district, and the children studied in India and got credit. “We used to go to India every other year, and the kids tell me that because of [our visits], they are very close to their cousins and understand things about India and Indian culture that we revere and appreciate.”
For Seshu, it was very important that her children learn and appreciate their language and culture. She strictly enforced the rule that they could not speak anything other than Telugu at home. “They may occasionally talk with Ravi in English now that they are 20 and 18, but the moment they see me, they just immediately revert to Telugu!” All along, the Sarmas had wanted to adopt a child, and after discussing with their children, they adopted Sriram, who was four years old when he arrived in the US. “It took us two years to get through the bureaucracy,” recalls Ravi. “It took a lot of mutual adjustment. Sriram started life in a public institution and was extremely raw at the edges, very difficult to discipline. He had moved from using street language to a house where certain conversational etiquette is expected.” Seshu again took quite some time off to be with him as did his father. Sriram is now a bright, well-adjusted 6-year old and the apple of everybody’s eyes.
Perhaps what the Sarmas cherish the most is their involvement with community activities. It all started when Ravi moved back to Atlanta. “We revised the constitution of the IACA. We had 25 general body meetings and signed the contract to buy the building that exists as the ICRC building. Gopal and Indira were small. I just did not know how to say no, but somehow made it.” in 1979 and got involved in the founding of the IACA and a Telugu association. In fact, he was both chairman of the board of directors of the IACA and president of the Telugu association in 1983. “It was an. incredible year, “recalls Ravi.
“The IACA was visualized as an organization that represented the interests of the entire Indian community, “says Ravi, who feels that at times, there were people at the helm who lacked the vision to help build the IACA into a solid association that represented the Indian American community here.
He feels that the IACA also got bogged down because of the building. “I felt the IACA did not have the infrastructure to become a landlord and run a 3 to 5 million dollar India center, and I still don’t believe it’s going to happen. The India center as it is being run now itself was tough to manage. I had to struggle to get people to clean the building week to week as volunteers. We may be able to raise a million dollars to build a building there, but it will cost us close to $100,000 dollars to maintain it. Therefore I do not believe we can do a good job of maintaining the IACA as a physical entity. Also, with several organizations like GIACC, which cater to the business needs and Raksha, which caters to the social needs of the community, the IACA will remain an organization of Indians in Atlanta but will not represent the Indians in Atlanta unless it forges some sort of an identity for itself.” He adds, “We as a community have not been able to articulate our vision so we are not as successful in achieving what we want to achieve, and it applies to all areas – political and social. We will give millions of dollars to politicians, but we don’t have an agenda as to what we really want in return. We are just content with having a picture clicked with the President, and that is the dumbest way to spend your money.”
What many do not know is that both Ravi and Seshu are prolific writers who have won many accolades and prizes in national Telugu competitions. While she writes about the struggles and choices immigrants in this country have to make, her husband’s stories are more like commentaries. The story that won him the first prize in the national Telugu competition explored the conflicts and the price humanity has to pay in the name of religion and God. It revolved around a poor Hindu man who converts to Christianity to get away from grinding poverty. “It was a composite of a trip I made to India in 1999. I saw the influence of money and how poverty of the people was exploited to make them convert to another religion. For them it just boils down to ‘give me health care, money to survive and be kind, and then your god is my god.”
One of Seshu’s prize winning stories describes the guilt and struggle that a son who lives in the US goes through when his mother is dying of breast cancer in India, and financial constraints stop him from bringing her to the country. She has also written about the loneliness of a 54-year old woman who has lost her husband at 47. She is young and beautiful and lonely and longs for companionship but cannot go out on a date unlike her American counterparts. When an American colleague asks her for a date, she shies away.
The couple is also deeply involved in the performing arts. They have choreographed and staged numerous plays. It is something at which Seshu excels. Those who watched Saptapadi at Georgia Tech in December can vouch for her competence and creativity. An accomplished Bharatnatyam and Veena exponent, she downplays her talents by saying that she does it just for the pleasure it gives her.
Ravi had the honor of carrying the Olympic torch in 1996. He was nominated by the family of a young breast cancer patient for whom he had cared. While carrying the torch is a cherished memory, what remains dearest to his heart is the scholarship fund he started nearly seven years ago. “I would go to farmers markets and gas stations and see all these Indians working there. I then realized that the census was showing 20 percent of Indians living below the poverty line. I thought we should try and help send their kids to school.” At that time, Prakash Wadhwani was the chairman of IACA and he asked Ravi to start the scholarship under the auspices of IACA. Ravi’s biggest disappointment is the independent nature of several organizations, who just do their own thing instead of pooling resources and creating a substantial scholarship fund. He hopes that a day will come when the Indian-American community will join hands and have something similar to the United Negro College Fund, the Korean-American Scholarship, or the Japanese-American Scholarship. Ravi also wants to focus on kids in the ninth and tenth grade who are doing very well but could use some help and coaching so that their PSAT and SAT scores could improve. “We will continue with the other activities like the essay competition and recognizing excellence, but by helping these kids in the ninth and tenth grade, will create an even greater impact.”
The Sarmas are also actively involved in the temple, and both hope that along with catering to the spiritual need of the community, they will continue to see the temple grow as a social services oriented organization. Ravi started a website three years ago called allexperts.com where apart from answering questions on oncology, he also answers questions on Hinduism, with emphasis on the adaptation of Hinduism in western society. “It’s incredible to see how much Hindus don’t know about Hinduism. I also get a lot of interfaith questions.”
So what is next for the Sarmas? Seshu says her biggest commitment is to Sriram, and if she could she would like to adopt a little girl in the near future. She travels and teaches medicine, but her family remains her priority. She is very grateful that she has been able to live the kind of life she has led and raised children who have learned to adjust and rough it out in any situation. Her love for her culture, Karnatic music, and her language continues. Like her, Ravi says he will remain involved with fine arts, education, and most importantly, community service.
“When we get involved and serve the community as volunteers, we are the ones who will ultimately benefit from it. If people go in and volunteer with a mindset that they are here to give, they will receive much more than they have given, and I can personally vouch for that. There were some struggles, some difficult moments, but what we received has far outweighed what we gave.”