She is known as the lovely actress who has wowed audiences world wide with her performances in Fire, 1947 Earth, Bawandar, Hari Bhari, Lal Salaam and many other films dealing with social issues that are often shoved under the carpet, but that is not all that is there to Nandita Das. She is also an accomplished Odissi dancer, an artist, did her Masters in Social work and worked with NGOS for a few years before accepting an offer to act in films. She is also as feisty, natural, and candid off screen as she is on screen. Now a newly wed(I am still getting used to the words “My husband!”) Nandita talks about life as an actress and what she values most in an exclusive interview with Kavita Chhibber.
I heard you went off to Burma for your honeymoon? Interesting choice of place!
Actually, we had wanted to go to Turkey but then realized it was going to be very cold and started scouting around for warmer places. We were surfing the net and read comments from tourists that Myanmar was a lovely place with the nicest people. It seemed like a tucked away place and since it was New Year’s Eve, we did not want to it to be a touristy spot.
It was lovely and a stark contrast to India, where you become so suspicious of every body and whether they are trying to use you or cheat you. I think when you go to places that are somewhat untouched by tourism or materialism, you can still find the simplicity and warmth that is so lacking in today’s world. Maybe it has something to do with Buddhism that teaches you simplicity and gentleness.
I heard your husband Soumya is from the world of Advertising and you have been rather vocal about your disdain for that field!
I have always felt the ad world encourages consumerism and is part of the dragon called capitalism and since I came from a socialist background in terms of work and exposure and family, I never wanted to do an ad in my life and still wont and he has not been able to change my mind and like wise he does not think much of the worlds of films but we are each other’s number 1 critics. I think best friends are supposed to be critical –everyone in this field tends to praise you all the time. I think I am my worst critic and he is my second worst critic!
So how have you evolved as an actor over the years, since you have never been to acting school?
I hate myself on screen and the more you watch the more mistakes you find in yourself. I think with experience you do understand more of the technicalities that you may have been naïve about in the beginning but I do not think acting has to be this or that. The instinctive school of acting has its own advantages and disadvantages.
I don’t intellectualize acting too much because you do that anyhow at a subconscious level because of the experiences you have had growing up or being exposed to different things. People talk about someone getting into the skin of a role but I do not think you are ever unaware of the fact that you are acting. There is so much going around you. There are cutters, thermacol, lighting, and people in front of you; sometimes you have to speak only one line and sometimes your co star is not even in front of you. I would be lying if I said I completely forget myself, but I try to be spontaneous and think if I was this person how would I have reacted and in between the role and you, you do try to find some similarities and merge the two people, because after all we are human and some of our basic instincts are universal at some level.
You said in an interview that in acting, you lend something of yourself and then the character gives you something back. What have you given and received through the characters you have played?
I think I am more enriched as a person because most of these films are not just films. They go beyond that-from the exposure that you get, to the many conversations and questions that are there, or when you show it at a small screening at say San Jose in the US and a lady suddenly gets up, her eyes all wet and says the same thing happened to my sister at a particular university and how come its no different whether it has happened here or a village in India? Such conversations bind us all over the world and you realize that that the struggles are often the same everywhere. Therefore, as a person, you grow and your sensitivity to these issues grows further. It also made me realize that the moral questions went much deeper than I had thought
Let us talk about Bawander. It was based on the story of Bhanwri Devi, who was raped by high caste Brahmins in Rajasthan and is still awaiting justice after so many years? What are the moral responsibilities of playing a character based on a real life person?
The character was named Sanwari Devi, so to some extent it was not a biographical film and that is why I did not even to go and meet Bhanwri Devi in the beginning because I did not want to get caught in the oh she does her hair like this, she laughs like that. In addition, at that time, she was 48 and I am much younger.
It was really the spirit her life and her strength that one was trying to capture but I think there was even then a greater moral responsibility because even if the names are not there you know that sooner or later the journalists are going to write about her and she is going to be dragged in and the last thing you would want is your portrayal affecting her life negatively.
Later on she did go through some problems where the villagers told Bhanwri Devi oh you are getting so much publicity and you must have gotten a lot of money for this film. Even though I am just an actress and even though the names are different, if ever I was to do another film based on a true life story I would in future want to take a more active part in knowing exactly how did the person really feel about the film being made on her, what all will she be dealing with, what could be done to help and how were things taken care of, and also one realizes that the journey of the struggle was much more important than the outcome.
A lot of people will say oh in the end she did not even win the case so why would anyone want to report these kinds of cases if that is the kind of justice they will get, but I know for a fact that in spite of that many women who have had similar experiences have gone to her and shared their stories and she has given them strength and has shared her experiences and told them to carry on their struggles and not give up because if you give up, then you are encouraging such perpetrators to continue.
I was told I must ask you about your first meeting with Deepa Mehta which netted you the role of Seeta in FIRE?
Yes, it was quite an interesting way to meet her! Pundit Jasraj’s daughter Durga told me that one of her friends is doing an American film so why don’t I go and meet him and maybe something will pan out, and the friend happened to be actor Gulshan Grover.
When I met Gulshan he was acting in this film but the story seemed very weird and I said no I don’t want to do it or meet the director because once you meet people its harder to say No. So he said well there is another story but it is rather bold, – its by a woman called Deepa Mehta and its about two women in love.
I still do not know why I said yes. I think it was mainly because I had read this small article where she had talked about her film Camilla and Mira Nair and Deepa Mehta were two women directors whose names were tucked away in my psyche – I went on sheer instinct and when I went to her hotel it was raining and I had these five pathetic photographs in my portfolio and knocked at the door and she didn’t even look at me. Later she told me she had been seeing so many actresses she was tired and not too excited about meeting yet another one. And she said lets go down to the lobby and at that point I said to her is that dupatta from Fab India and she looked at me a little taken aback and said ya, and I said well I have one exactly like that, and she smiled at me and said why don’t you come in?
Later she told me she thought what a crazy girl – she is meeting me for the first time and all she is talking to me is about dupattas. She is just like the Seeta of my film, who says things without thinking, and we just kept chatting about other things. Then she said well I am coming to Delhi so why don’t we do an audition and a screen test in Delhi and why don’t you read the script and see what you think of it. I was surprised at the fact that she gave me the script and asked me to decide whether I wanted to do that role or not. I had heard that the directors never did that. So I read the script, really liked it and there were certain questions I asked and she said I don’t want to do any screen test -you are my Seeta.
So what kind of preparation did you put in for Fire and Earth?
I have never really prepared for any film and yes, I keep hearing about all the preparation that many actors are into. I have always wanted to prepare for a role which would be so different from me or my thoughts that I will have to work on the little things to be different.
In fact, Water would have been one such role. After reading the script I had thought I have long straight hair all my life and I have put kajal in my eyes all my life and now suddenly I have to have these bland eyes and wear white, eating only once a day-what does it do to your psyche? Unfortunately, it didn’t happen, but for no other role have I had to prepare really.
In Bawander maybe I rehearsed walking with pots on my head because I have never walked in sand dunes with a pot on my head, but both in Earth and Fire I didn’t really prepare because I thought both were spontaneous characters and very real and human.
Most people think that Fire must have been more difficult for me than Earth but I think the character I played in Earth was more difficult than Fire. There the only thing that was unique for me was being with a woman.
While intellectually I understood what homosexuality is about I don’t think I had understood that emotional aspect – that a person can genuinely be in love with someone from the same sex. I think deep down many be I was a little judgmental and my sensitivity about such subjects has increased much more after doing that role. It was interesting that here we were- three heterosexual women working on creating these nice compassionate lesbian scenes between the two women and all of us were laughing and giggling. But I think the reason why the scenes were not difficult was mainly because we had a lot of compassion and a great comfort level with each other.
Earth was a little more difficult, because the character was of a girl who was not just sensual and an attention seeker, she was also a lot more manipulative and tries to use her sex appeal but in an innocent and guileless way and it seemed a tough thing. Deepa said the moment you try to put on an act it won’t happen, just be and let it come to you. I think what helped was the fact that I have always tried to retain the child in me even though one is exposed to so much in the real world, and I could draw upon that to bring the sense of balance between sensuality and innocence.
What have you learnt from different directors?
Deepa Mehta is very good with actors – she understands the weaknesses and strengths of different actors and works with them accordingly, she enjoys nuances and true emotions.
Jag Mundhra, is not an actor’s director but he is excellent at casting and the fact that he gives the actors the space to improvise and perform is very good. He enjoys the technicalities of being behind the camera more than getting into the performances.
Mani Ratnam on the other hand is very performance oriented apart from being technically very good also. I really enjoyed working with him.
Mrinal Sen gives you a lot of freedom and will initially talk to you throughout the shooting of the film about various things without directly telling you what he wants, but the things he talks about indirectly affect the way you perform and help you act the way he wants.
Lal Salaam was your film all the way, from the innocent village girl to a naxalite and in Shyam Benegal’s Hari Bhari, you played a character that was pretty vampish and very unlike you.
Unfortunately Lal Salaam was not a really a great experience because there were problems with the producer and the director and the movie didn’t turn out the way it was initially visualized. I had met with the naxalites and while I am absolutely against violence, I am interested in this debate about when is violence or non-violence the correct solution, and while one is against violence can one accept it as justifiable in certain situations? These kinds of dilemmas are interesting and these kinds of questions must be raised, but unfortunately, these kinds of films don’t even get marketed or released properly. Lal Salaam was not even released in Delhi. Marketing is so important.
When Shyam Benegal first offered me that role in Hari Bhari I said no that’s not me at all and he said to me that you never take on a role thinking it does not fit with Nandita’s Das’s personality or viewpoint. As an actress, you are supposed to try out different things and that made sense. Still I said oh my god I have to wear these ghastly clothes and may be act like Shashi Kala to look vampish, but then I realized that I have to like the character if I have to be true to it and that helped, and the message really is that at times you have to play negative roles to reinforce something positive and that all villains are not bad people all the time. They just have some traits that are not positive
You did a film Ek Alag Mausam on HIV/AIDS –what was it like?
I think my involvement with the issue of HIV/AIDS began with Ek Alag Mausam. I went to this place called “Freedom Foundation’, on the outskirts of Bangalore which is tucked away in the outskirts because they could not get a piece of land in Bangalore proper to create a space where people with HIV/AIDS could stay, get counseling, medication and live with their families and things like that.
I went there thinking it would be very depressing but after meeting the people there I realized , once you know you are living with HIV you get a certain strength-they were going on with their lives as normally as possible, squabbling and laughing as all of us do. A 28-year-old HIV positive person told me he found out 2 years ago he was positive, it changed his life, and he felt that it was only in the last 2 years that he has truly lived. When you know that the clock is ticking away you just perceive life, the world and people in a totally different way – it opened my eyes and I told the writer I am doing this film and I am glad I did it and since then I have sponsored HIV positive kids to get medical treatment.
The focus in films is now so much on good stories, important issues We must continue to experiment with new subjects even if they don’t turn out well, because they will still help in opening new doors, and other good things will happen.
Whether people liked Fire or not, the fact is that this subject has come into light and people are talking about it and it has paved the way for other films dealing with sexuality or other important issues that deal with relationships instead of keeping them in the closet.
The focus in films is now so much on good stories, important issues We must continue to experiment with new subjects even if they don’t turn out well, because they will still help in opening new doors, and other good things will happen. Whether people liked Fire or not, the fact is that this subject has come into light and people are talking about it and it has paved the way for other films dealing with sexuality or other important issues that deal with relationships instead of keeping them in the closet.
So is there any possibility of Water being made?
Well we remain hopeful. In fact, when I read the script I told Deepa thank God, there is nothing controversial about this film. Little was I to know! And like a fool I shaved my head off to get used to the feeling because in the film there is a scene where my head is being shaved off and my hair was cut to a bare millimeter above the head and it was like a carpet and I would constantly keep touching it! Well I don’t think it will ever grow back to the same length but I guess there’s more to life than your hair length!
You started with street theatre and now are doing a play with Shabana Azmi and Zora Sehgal called The Spirit of Anne Frank?
Well street theatre was our attempts at delivering a social message dealing with issues at the door steps of people, and of course the idealist that I was I thought it was going to change the society –we would do a play and people would contribute money on our chadar, women would cry and men would come and ask questions so it was very gratifying at that level.
The Spirit of Anne Frank has been an amazing experience because for one there was no script and so there was a lot of improvisation. Its about the conversations between 5 women who are traveling by train and starts with their life stories and what happened during the holocaust which brings up the topic of what happened in Gujarat and their perceptions, their notions, prejudices comes to the forefront. We will be bringing the play to the US and UK in September and December.
After being in the film industry for a few years now what is it that has surprised you about yourself as a person and as an actress? Has it been easy to be a part of the film industry, which is considered cutthroat and competitive?
The best part was I never wanted to be an actress so I never got into the rat race. The most difficult part is to keep your sanity and stay grounded. That is why I decided to stay in Delhi not in Bombay and am doing smaller regional films. People often wonder why I do them since they offer such little compensation, and have such little exposure in the national sense. I think I confuse these people and they cannot put me in a slot, because on one hand I am doing a small regional film and on the other, one with Amitabh Bachchan. I wish people would stop labeling actors and films in slots. Perhaps that is why Earth didn’t do well because commercial guys thought it’s too arty and the arty guys thought it’s too commercial with all the songs etc. They were so busy slotting it; they forgot to watch it as a film.
I am not eating drinking, sleeping films. For me the fact that all this film business and fame is transient and much of it is superficial means not taking yourself too seriously.
My dad is a painter, my mom a writer from a Gandhian family. We were never materialistic, never go-getters, my father still doesn’t have a house of his own. It was never about money and investment and property creation. It was more about being a good human being and doing what made you happy.
I still haven’t learnt to come to terms with the baggage that film acting brings in. I was very naïve into thinking oh its like any other profession you just shoot and come back. I can talk to you but often I’m interviewed by people who have their questions laid out, they are not even leading anywhere and you can see that they are not even listening to what you are saying and perhaps have already decided on the answers; plus talking about yourself can be a very grueling process-its not even a healthy thing. You are constantly answerable to everyone for everything – “why didn’t you go to Bombay? Why aren’t you doing commercial films? When did you get married and will you work after marriage?” and in some ways keeping a balance is so important and that is tough to do at times.
Even in terms of my social work, everybody with any remote cause is calling just because they see me as a celebrity. Somebody called me the other day and wanted me to endorse a tooth care product. I said have you even looked at my crooked teeth, before asking me to endorse a tooth product? Every cause is probably important but I can’t be an ambassador for everything.
I still get angry with people not respecting each other or coming 6 hours late – I want to learn the things I need to learn both an actress and a human being. I have realized because of my temperament I don’t think I can work with people I don’t jell with. For me work and life are not two entities.
So what is in the works?
I don’t plan too much. I am dong a short film in new Zealand – a 7-minute film but the kind of work and effort they are putting into it, is not even seen in some top notch feature films. It’s about colonization and about relations between a white man and an Indian woman. I am also doing a couple of small films but trying to be a bit choosier.
My husband and I have formed a little company to do short films on social issues. Short films are often so boring and in competition with more glossy stuff on television that people just flip the channel, we did a short 90 seconds one on green water harvesting and are planning to put it on air soon.
I personally believe that while I am enjoying the process, acting is not my true calling! I may go into direction and I have always had this dream for starting a school.
I still don’t know where I will end up eventually, I am exploring different things and like I often say if you are wandering, you are not necessarily lost!