Reconnecting with Ravi Shankar

By Kavita A Chhibber

We must turn inwards, to the deepest of our own roots, to find the very best of who we are. But it is a constant search, trying to reach something that I can see and feel, that I can almost touch but never hold on to.

Music is the only language that I really know for I believe in the nada brahma-that sound is God.” – Pandit Ravi Shankar

Dec 20th, 2012 – I sit surrounded by the fragrance of white roses and tulips, alongside my husband Ajit at the memorial in his honor at the Self Realization Fellowship Center in Encinitas, CA. I hear Pandit Ravi Shankar’s voice among other voices, the notes from his music adding a sparkle to his words.

Memorial. The word sounds strange, and somehow not applicable to this divine soul, this man who in my eyes cannot become only a memory. He is very much there in every note, every word, and each time music plays anywhere on the planet.

I look at the 3 large photographs surrounded by those white roses and tulips. The flowers have thoughtfully been provided by Olivia Harrison (the wife of the late musician George Harrison). The photographs capture only a fraction of his essence. There he is – a handsome young musician in one of the pictures, and then again in a more recent picture, where he had begun to look like one of his heroes – the poet Rabindranath Tagore.

Here I was in San Diego, barely a week after his physical passing, at this memorial service which was as simple and elegant as he is – it can never be “he was” for me. Each and every detail so meticulously etched. From the security arrangements, to the beautiful path where we were greeted with the showering of flower petals and the traditional tilak as ushers handed us beautiful roses and tulips and took us to our seats.

The sounds of shehnai emanated, being played live by two of his students Sanjiv and Ashwini Shankar, who had flown in especially from India to be part of this special moment. “My father always loved the Shehnai and felt it was an auspicious instrument to begin events with and I’m glad we were able to do that for him,” says Anoushka. I sit there still in disbelief, because while I was away from them for 3 long years physically, it was never so in my heart.

Because my connection with Ravi Shankar neither begins nor ends here.
I am transported back to the time when a young ten year old girl sat doing her homework, in a sprawling house overlooking the red, barren mountains of Kabul, Afghanistan. My father had been posted there as Military attaché. My dad is a military man who has a passion for poetry and classical music to this day, and my mom is a classically trained vocalist whose college mate was Pt. Shiv Kumar Sharma. Her Guru was his father the great Pt. Umashankar Sharma. And so it was not a coincidence that classical music and music in general always played in my ears from the time I was a newborn infant.

That day was seemingly no different… but it was… because on that day, the many splendored notes of a musical composition engulfed me in its melodic embrace. And as I stayed still, warmed by the strains of that celestial music, I vowed that someday I would sit before the musician at a live concert and listen to him play in person. That was the first time I met Pandit Ravi Shankar and it was memorable meeting – memorable because I met him through what he held most dear, most precious – his music.

Many years later in 2001, I found myself grumbling into the phone, “It’s not fair. I have waited all my life to meet you and here you are doing this interview on the phone.” It was the legend himself that I was whining to. Ravi ji was in New York and I was in Atlanta doing the interview a day before his concert as he did not do interviews on the day he performed. I still hear his voice when he said, “Bless your heart. Then you must meet me after the concert in Atlanta.”

What was strange was also the fact that he had stopped midway through our conversation and actually described the way I looked. He said my face had flashed before his eyes. He was bang on and I was surprised because there was not a single picture of mine that he could have seen anywhere, even on the internet. I truly believe that we have past life connections with those who we meet in this lifetime.

It was also the first time that I got to know Anoushka. She was only nineteen then but such an old soul – a fellow Gemini – delightful, incredibly intelligent and so multi talented… and also very forthright.

The concert happened. My dream unfolded before my eyes but with a bonus bonanza; I saw both the master and his very gifted protégé and daughter perform together. But it was what happened next that gave me a glimpse of who the Shankars really were.

I never tire of telling this story. I was gathering my belongings to leave thinking that Ravi ji and Anoushka were simply being polite when they had said I should meet them after the concert. I usually never go to meet artists after the show unless they are personal friends. It is to respect the fact that they are tired and hungry. Many do not eat until after they have performed. So the sooner they can get some rest and recuperate, the better.

Suddenly the director of the Rialto Center for the Arts (where the concert was held) came running and said to me: “Please don’t leave. The Shankars have requested you stay back to meet them.”

It was at that moment I realized how thoughtful they were, always ready to go out of their comfort zone to accommodate, if they felt someone’s appreciation or love for them was genuine.

I have stayed a freelance journalist for many reasons. I do not write about anything that does not jell with me, and I will not write because it’s the hot news of the moment or because of the desire for higher ratings. I will write when I am ready and what I want to.

I seldom allow anyone or myself to cross the boundaries that should be set between an interviewee and interviewer to retain objectivity and impartiality of reporting. But strangely the person instrumental in those boundaries being broken was not Ravi ji or Anoushka, but the person everyone chose to throw brickbats at… and who I fell totally in love with. Ravi ji’s amazing wife Sukanya.

As I stood in line so as not to disrupt those who had waited patiently to get their CDs autographed, Ravi ji spotted me at a distance and called out -“Kavita?” He then asked me to break the line and come over. Both Anoushka and he received me with such familiar warmth – like we’d known each other forever. But it was Sukanya standing quietly behind them who caught my attention. When Anoushka kindly said to her: “Mom this was the best interview I’ve done… meet Kavita,” Sukanya clasped my hand and her warm smile was like an explosion of light. Her eyes are truly the mirror of her soul. The love, kindness and warmth she extended to me has remained undiminished through the years. If I have learnt anything from Sukanya Shankar, it’s that generosity, selflessness, never ending sacrifices and loyalty to those you love are their own rewards. I have always seen her in the background, her face alight with joy and pride, her beaming smile – always reserved for Ravi ji and Anoushka – and then extended to everyone who she knows is a well wisher. When you look at all of Ravi ji’s health problems even before he turned 60, you would know that he lived in his physical body for 30 plus years only because of the extraordinary love and nurturing by Sukanya.

2001 was the beginning of a beautiful journey that allowed me to walk into and share some nuggets of Pandit Ravi Shankar’s life with my readers. And what a wonderful life it has been with all the navrasas in it. I told him we could make a movie out of his life – as soon as we could find an actor as handsome and as talented to act his part. We are still looking.

In the last 12 years what I often saw was a man surrounded by such love, not just from his adoring fans and students, but his wife and daughter. I still remember the last time we met. Ajit and I went over to their hotel, after the concert and Ravi ji did what he always did when you met him. He was always elegantly dressed and always more interested in your life and how you were than talking about his. His memory was phenomenal and he would remember names and conversations from 5 decades ago. He seldom talked about himself, and NEVER about his accomplishments. He had a wicked sense of humor as do Sukanya and Anoushka and the conversation was always strewn with reminisces, anecdotes, wisecracks and mother and daughter ribbing him about something or the other.

He loved women and women loved him. When I first met him in 2001, Ravi ji was 81, and I was blown away by his charisma, his charm and his amazing good looks. I hope I look as good at 80. His large luminous eyes, beautiful smile and razor sharp intellect set him apart and made him irresistible. Year after year, I saw him falling sick, and coming back to dazzle at sold out concerts. He would vow this was his farewell concert and every time he returned with something else that was magical. Ravi Shankar’s music was his life breath and he poured his soul into every performance.

In later years, he could not sit the traditional way, he could not play the traditional sized sitar, and yet there he was, as we sat watching in awe – with a baby sitar, concert after concert, sparkling and stunning with his command over the instrument.

So was it at this concert. He sat there, feet hanging down wearing a hearing aid that had cracked just hours before, and had been hurriedly fixed by a kindly doctor.

The concert was sold out and many people had brought their young children to be witness to a part of history. Anoushka jokingly complained later that he is so into his music that he wasn’t letting her get anything in on her end. She would try to play the so called duet and he would just keep going! So lost was he in his own world of melodic bliss.

My thought go back to his autobiography “Ragmala” which he had autographed for me a few years ago, and which I had been rereading on the flight to San Diego. It was like I just wanted to relive every moment, reconnect with everything Ravi ji had ever done. Ajit suddenly pointed out that there was an imprint of Ravi ji’s fingers and his hand on the page. I was seeing that book after 3 years. I found my eyes welling up. I remember that day in Ann Arbor Michigan, like it was yesterday. Close to 5000 people had come to see him play at Ann Arbor’s Hill Auditorium. He had agreed to do another interview in person and we had such a wonderful time that morning.

He found out Ajit had studied music under a disciple of one of Ravi ji’s senior disciples Vachaspati Sharma. “So then you are my grand disciple!” he said excitedly. He then proceeded to introduce Ajit as his grandson to everyone including the doctor who was hosting them for lunch. We joked that the doctor must have been wondering “Where did this grandson come from?” The confusion was understandable, especially in light of the world being introduced to his other immensely popular daughter Norah Jones only recently.

Yet joking aside, it must be of immense satisfaction to him that his musical legacy continues to increase multifold and he can go to any part of the world and find his music manifest in third-generation disciples like Ajit. Since then Sukanya would always address Ajit as Ravi ji’s grandson whenever we were together.

And so we met across cities and states and Sukanya and I would stay in touch over emails and phone calls. Sukanya was kind enough to support my fight for Troy Davis, the death row inmate whose case I had been investigating and had become very close to. She made sure Ravi ji sent a letter to the Georgia Parole Board asking for clemency along with so many other celebrities and heads of state.

We were included in so many of the special, joyous occasions in their lives-Ravi ji’s 90th birthday, Anoushka’s post wedding celebrations, and baby shower. But in the last 4 years my life had taken me away from writing, I had become trained in energy medicine and had helped heal so many people through it that life took on a different goal and meaning. I also kept falling sick and was drained in every way possible, because in my zeal for helping others I started neglecting myself. But the one thing that remained constant in this ever changing world is my love for the Shankars and I know this in my heart that they are the most loving and accepting people I know. Sukanya especially who will continue to shower love and understanding on you in spite of the distance and the lack of communication. She is the most loving and accepting person I know.

I had planned a yearlong celebration for Ravi ji’s 90th birthday in 2010 . I wanted to do a series with people who had known him, and who would share their thoughts. I had managed to do some interviews in between seeing some very sick people but then fell really sick myself. In all this the demands of sick and destitute people who saw me as their pain reliever, continued. I can say in some ways 2010 was the worst year of my life and so the interviews remained unpublished, the stories unshared.

Just a few months ago I realized how much I missed writing and that I needed to get back to it. I did- just for one special occasion in June. Little was I to know that my return to it again would be to talk about reconnecting with Ravi ji…but not in the way I would want.

Becoming a healer has made me very clairvoyant. I see beyond the physical, and so sitting under the beautiful blue skies, surrounded by flowers, and over a thousand people who were joined by the common thread of honoring Ravi Shankar, I see him and feel his presence, hear his voice. I see Anoushka, a mother and a wife, beautiful, simple, all dignity and grace, come up and acknowledge all those who have made the occasion possible with such sweetness and dignity. But my heart breaks when I see Sukanya, the dearest, loveliest of people so shattered by her loss, the tears. I tell Ravi ji I would do anything in the world to see that beautiful smile and not tears stream across her dear face. It’s not the first time I feel helpless or the first time I shed tears, but its then I realize how much this beautiful family means to me – that time and distance cannot dim your love for someone and that rare gems like Ravi ji, Sukanya and Anoushka always shine with inner radiance no matter how deep the grief.

The speeches are short and meaningful and Ravi ji would have been touched. A handful of speakers between them managed to capture some gems from his life.

Dr. Nanda Kumar of Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan flew in from London to pay homage to Raviji and interspersed his thoughts with vedic mantras. He recalled Ravi Ji as the light that shone over the world for over 9 decades now merging with the greater source of light. “ I do not know any other musician who understood Eastern and Western music the way Ravi ji understood and interpreted it. The world was mesmerized.”

Dr. Kumar mentioned how Ravi ji and Sukanya had loved and patronized their projects. Ravi ji did many benefit concerts and workshops and never charged for them. Once when he was doing a benefit concert and Dr. Nanda Kumar ran to pay for the taxi cab, Ravi ji stopped him and said a benefit concert meant everything was covered, from the taxi cab and also Ustad Allah Rakha’s fees which Ravi ji paid himself. “When I charge you, I won’t excuse a single penny,’ Ravi said to NandaKumar. “He never charged us. That was Pt. Ravi Shankar.”

Brother Sevananda of the Self Realization Fellowship recalled that Ravi ji had first met their guru Yogananda Paramahansa in the thirties when he was a part of his brother Uday Shankar’s troupe and that his first solo concert was at their facility in California in 1957. For Sevananda the ties that bound Ravi ji with his guru was their tireless work to bridge cultural and spiritual barriers. He also saw a kinship with Ravi ji in the passion for their respective paths and their unstinting devotion to their gurus. On a personal level he saw how Ravi ji would treat everyone with such courtesy and love even when he was not being watched by the media or the world at large, and that was the true measure of a man. Ravi ji loved coming to the center said Anoushka and it was only appropriate that his life’s journey was being remembered in that sacred and spiritual space.

As a family friend Simran Sethi, read out quotations of admiration from dignitaries and media from around the world, the wonderfully gifted Zubin Mehta said “These quotations that you’ve just heard are all understatements. As a musician I’ve always felt like a little crumb in his presence because every night whichever stage he was performing on, he was composing simultaneously, something that does not exist in my world. We just try to recreate what the masters have left us…”

Mehta recalled that while working with Ravi ji in New York, knowing that Ravi ji did not know how to write western notations, “It was my honor to sit next to him when he was composing the concerto for the New York Philharmonic and take dictation from this great master.” Zubin Mehta also recalled how all the musicians would quietly sit waiting for Ravi ji to improvise his segments and he in all his humility, would approach them saying he wanted to hear them play. “ We said ‘No… We want to hear you!’ And so it went through all the rehearsals. And we performed this great piece of his in quite a few cities in the world, always to such a standing ovation for this master.”

Mehta said he was a fan from the very first time he heard Ravi ji, later meeting him in the early sixties in Los Angeles and how whenever he saw Ravi ji and Ustad Allah Rakha Khan play together he felt so small but Ravi ji would always be positive and smiling and encouraging.

“Each raga starts with such a plaintive, meditative, introspective mood and ends in victory. Until he achieved that victory he takes you through such a gamut of emotions, it’s the cosmos opening up. I was at one recital in Carnegie Hall which didn’t take wing after 1 o’clock in the morning because it was only around midnight that he really got into his inspirational high points And not one person in the public left.”

“Everybody got to know India all over the world through Ravi. Our Ravi ji.”
And I sit there thinking how touched I am by Zubin Mehta’s heartfelt sharing and how true it is. It’s not just India but Indian musicians who have since then reaped the fruits of Ravi ji’s labors year after year by coming aboard and performing here and achieving a greater name for themselves than back home in many cases along with money – even those who criticized him for bringing his music to a worldwide audience and even erroneously saying he had become one of them.

As a musician Ravi ji was a purist – as a creative genius he was an innovator and ready to experiment but always within the boundaries of his deep traditional roots. The world played his compositions on a variety of instruments. Ravi ji never played the world’s music on his instrument. But he became the builder of bridges of peace through his music, and of breaking cultural barriers. He single handedly connected more people across the world through his divine sound than any other musician, politician or entrepreneur.

Olivia Harrison called Ravi ji one of the greatest citizens of the world and shared that she had actually met him a few weeks before she had met her husband, the late George Harrison. Recalling Ravi’s many blessings and kindness shown to her, she also said that “Ravi ji guided a young George and helped satiate his desire for a more meaningful life. He did that through Indian classical music, literature and travel. Ravi ji laid the stepping stones from West to East that let George to new concepts, alternative philosophies and completely transformed his musical sensibilities. Both of them stepped outside their cultures and in the spirit of true adventure, immersed themselves in each other’s customs. They exchanged ideas and melodies until their minds and hearts, east and west were entwined.”

She said they had a multidimensional relationships. They shared secrets, were like brothers but also like father and son. “Their common bond was music and they collaborated many times.”

Olivia talked about Anoushka and her training under Ravi ji. “George said he felt sorry for her because she could never escape practice like he did!” She also recalled how Ravi ji brought his other daughter Norah Jones to their house and did not tell anyone she was a musician, until just as they were about to leave and Norah sat at the Piano and started singing. “She (Norah) never saw Ravi ji’s face standing behind her, beaming as our mouths fell open.”

Once Ravi ji wrote a kind of western bhajan, George heard it and exclaimed, “Ravi you should write more of those!” Ravi ji said, “George I’ve been trying not to write them for years.” If the success of “I am missing you,” is anything to go by, then you admire Ravi ji even more for sticking to his guns. He once told me that had he really jammed with the Beatles as people accused him of doing, he would have been a millionaire many times over. But he did not.

And in spite of that, as Olivia pointed out as she concluded her thoughts, Ravi ji’s music spans the distance from the terrestrial to the celestial, it plays within us and without and it shall remain long after us and continue through his two beautiful daughters Anoushka and Norah.

I remember how Ustad Amjad Ali Khan had made a really key point once in my conversation about Ravi ji. “As far as Ravi Shankar is concerned, my greatest admiration for him stems from the fact that here is a man who had no gharana to talk about. His father was not a musician, his guru’s father was not a musician. On top of that his guru was a sarod player. Look at the odds he beat to become the extraordinary musician he became. .. He is truly a self made musician and he deserves every accolade that has come his way.”

I look up again as the sharing continues. One of his students Prasanna Thevarajah talks of Ravi ji playing with words and quipping “That’s why they call me a Pun-dit’ and choking as he recalls how there were moments when Ravi ji believed in his talent more than he did. Another family friend reciting a poem trying to capture his multi dimensional life..every memory, every reminisce creating a ragamala of words that touch and warm my heart.

It’s so gratifying to see that the person you have admired so much is truly worthy of that love. More than his accomplishments, people are continuously talking about what a loving, caring and simple man he was-one who carried his stupendous fame very lightly on his shoulders. I’m also so happy that everyone is acknowledging Sukanya’s contribution in ensuring he stayed with us as long as he did. She truly is one of a kind.
I’ve known of Joe Wright as an interesting director who fascinates my husband. Ajit always tells me that he is often intrigued by Joe Wright’s mind and his very interesting directorial interpretations of classics. His movie “Atonement” is a personal favorite, but after he came up and spoke I could see why Anoushka fell in love with him. He is as funny, authentic and forthright as her, and a great story teller.

While the family and all of us who love them, have been reeling by the suddenness with which things happened, Joe seemed to balance the deep sense of loss with a celebration of Ravi ji’s life and a reminder that our souls are eternal.

He lightened the air with a funny story of how he went to ask for Anoushka’s hand. It wasn’t just you fall in love with a beautiful girl and that’s it. You’ve got to now meet the in-laws and of course your future father in law just happens to be Ravi Shankar. Joe arrives at the house and the light goes out. They eat tandoori chicken cooked by Sukanya on a stove in candlelight. But the best is yet to come when the next morning he comes downstairs to have breakfast and finds himself alone with Ravi ji. After an awkward silence minus, what he called “the protection of Anoushka,” Ravi ji asks him a profound question, “Do you wash?’ Perplexed when Joe answers in the affirmative Ravi ji responds, “Good… good..” A few more awkward silent moments go by and then Ravi ji asks again with a slight look of concern, “All over, or just hands and face?!”

Whenever he was asked for advice Ravi ji professed wisely not to know the answer but when Joe was really struggling with something Ravi ji would intuitively know and tell a story which had the answer in it. Once when Joe was trying to deal with a very trying relationship issue Ravi ji talked about a man who he had revered and who fell from the pedestal.

Ravi ji told him that that experience made him realize that “the point was to try and find the ‘average’ in people and to love the average,” and it works”.

Joe also recalled, how he would see Ravi ji nattily dressed up wearing what he called his “Ray Charles sunglasses,” walking around the pool in his house and his passion for very white socks that he wore all the time. “I never saw his bare feet.”

Even in bad health, when he was being wheeled in to have surgery that may not work out, Joe recalled always seeing Ravi ji’s fingers strumming an imaginary sitar, composing as he was being wheeled into the operation theatre. “I never saw his fingers not playing, not beating a rhythm even in the face of death..” But Ravi Shankar always returned, after every emotional good bye, just in case he may not make, and then being sheepishly embarrassed at his own emotional display..

Until this last time… When Joe got a call from Anoushka that she was being summoned to the hospital to be with her father, Joe was in Los Angeles. As he turned around he had a vision. He saw Ravi ji as a young boy of 6 laughing and running through a patch of grass, his whole life ahead of him. Just as when Anoushka gave birth to their son Zubin and Ravi ji on seeing him called him dadu (grandfather) knowing that the little infant Zubin, “was born with all the history in his eyes and eternity in the palm of his hand, I’ve kept that vision about the little boy, little Ravi ji.. and the very old man whose life had passed, was gone..and all that remained in my imagination is that little boy with his life still ahead of him.. a more beautiful life lies ahead of him..”

A couple of hours later, walking on the beach near our hotel about 4 miles from where Ravi ji lives, I’m still thinking about what Joe said… I see the ebb and flow of life through the high tides that caress the sand near my feet, and as I leave I‘m reminded of one of my favorite poems by Edward A Guest, and I want to share that with you, because that is how I want to continue to remember this great man.

When I come to the end of the road 
And the sun has set for me 
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room. 
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little–but not too long 
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared, 
Miss me – but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take 
And each must go alone. 
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, 
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart 
Go to the friends we know 
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. 
Miss Me – But Let me Go!