By Kavita Chhibber
It has been a crazy busy day with only a few hours of sleep. But I have been thinking all day about Anshuman Jain.
They say no matter how old you grow, the most vivid memories are those of your childhood and childhood friends.
These are those friends who stuck to you when you were a nobody. Those are the friendships that are the most pure and organic.
I first met Anshuman in Kabul, Afghanistan. He was 11, and taking a ride in our car with some other kids for an event. I still remember his quick wit, impish smile and incredible intelligence. And when he had proved a point, which he mostly did with facts and figures, there would be an added mischievous twinkle in Anshuman’s eyes.
My sister used to call him Dennis the Menace because of the rules he perpetually broke, thumbing his nose at authority figures in school, undeterred by any threats of punishment.
I still remember an incident where he was doing crazy cartwheels bunking a class only to make his final landing right in front of the school principal.
Punishment was always standing outside the classroom or complaints to parents so the antics continued.
I was actually the same way so we hit it off.
We were a trio, the other one being Suhail Raoof – now an eminent physician.
I was 15 when we returned to India from Kabul. Anshuman followed later.
I told my older brother that there was a kid I left behind, who would some day be a superstar.
“In what?” He asked. I said “I don’t know in what, but he will be a superstar, he is THAT smart.”
Anshuman and I moved to USA eventually. We stayed in close touch until Geetika (his wife) and he moved to London.
Phone calls were expensive. The internet was non-existent and cell phones weren’t around yet either. But every year without fail there would be a Christmas card that would arrive with a beautiful family photograph on the cover.
Until one fateful day, many years later when my brother returned from India and called me. “I know you are this well known journalist and you have interviewed many famous people but I’ll be very impressed if you still remember the name of this guy who you said would be -“. Before he could complete his sentence, I chimed in “Anshuman Jain!”
My brother was shocked. “I can’t believe you remember what you said over three decades ago! Yes he is now one of the most influential Indians globally and is with Deutsche Bank”. If you Google “Anshu Jain” you will see what my brother meant.
I found an email address, sent Anshuman two lines, fully expecting a secretary to discard it.
But five minutes later I got a message from Anshuman with his phone number and a promise to call in five minutes.
Ten minutes elapsed and I texted back grumpily: “Where ARE you? Playing tennis with Boris Becker?”
Two minutes later comes the reply “Just getting out of the meeting. But since you asked…”. He sends me a photo of Becker and him at an exhibition match!
I tell him later, “I swear I could see your smug smile and that twinkle in your eye!”
Several conversations happened and we caught up.
If I asked about his work, the bantering would drop and he would become serious. I told him I would never interview him because he was so much more cautious and boring. He started laughing. And I never did an interview with him.
Years went by. Life happened. Anshuman and I would message occasionally or text briefly. He came to the US a few times but I was always either traveling or teaching late workshops.
He would complain but understood my workaholic ways.
Until 2018.
I cannot thank the divine for connecting me to the amazing Imran Baig.
Imran and I had never met before but destiny put him right in front of my eyes when I walked in to the Delhi Gymkhana in 2018. And we talked the entire time. Anshuman’s name came up. Imran did not mention that Anshuman was not well but he reconnected us.
And thank you Geetika Jain for encouraging Anshuman to talk to me candidly because you knew there would be no judgment.
The wheel came a full circle in so many ways.
Anshuman had introduced me to Kapil Dev when we were both teenagers. He reconnected me with Kapil again.
Suhail and I also reconnected.
All of us had so many amazing, healing conversations full of love, laughter, and incredible childhood memories.
No matter what heights these two men had attained, or I had, we became children again. The same banter, the same mischief… and yet the core was the same. Anshuman had the same integrity and decency I saw as a kid. And the same forthrightness.
He also had the same stubbornness which made him outlive every grim prognosis.
And neither of us let the other feel sorry for themselves.
One day Anshuman was a little tired. So he said to me, “I still have to be on top of this thing. Handle doctors, find solutions.”
I retorted: ” That’s what happens to incredibly smart people who take charge ALL the time. Learn to live with it!” He started laughing.
I would get lectures on having put on weight.
“How many steps did you walk today Kavita?”
Me (meekly): “5000”.
Anshuman: “I did 15,000 and then went for a 2 mile walk with Geetika. This after a round of chemo!”
And I would roll my eyes but do 10k steps the next day.
But that’s who Anshuman was. Incredible will power. But also wanting to help in some way. I attributed the elegance, the thoughtfulness to Geetika’s influence. His demeanor would change to a much softer one as soon as she came around. That’s love and respect.
Anshuman had a tough exterior but inside he was far more emotional, sentimental and vulnerable.
He once said to me, “You know there was a time I would look at people who said to me that they live in the moment with disbelief. Everyone must have a plan, I would say to them. And now I realize that I have to live in the moment, because I wake up every single day wondering what tomorrow will bring.”
So it was awesome to see him live his best life doing what he loved. Cricket, wild life photography. Geetika and he would do it together and give each other space as well.
I love all the enchanting journeys they took to places that are now on my bucket list.
One of Anshuman’s dream was to teach at the London School of Economics and to mentor youngsters. He wondered if he had time left for that.
But then I asked him if he had seen all those messages on his FB wall for his birthday. Most of these came from youngsters who mentioned again and again what a difference he had made in their life.
“You already are mentoring so many people young and old. You are inspiring me and everyone who knows you!” The smile that lit up his face as he realized his impact was one I won’t forget. He knew I was not the kind to mince words, if I had felt otherwise.
Kapil Dev said to me that Anshuman may have left too soon, but he lived several super successful lives rolled in one.
Kapil made me laugh when he said that both Sunil Gavaskar and he would run for cover when they saw Anshuman who was a walking encyclopedia of cricket stats. He would chase them bringing up random matches and full stats from memory, asking them why did they play this or that match and what were they thinking?
“All we wanted was to ask him how to make money! And all he wanted to know was questions about games we had long forgotten about!”
One day I asked Anshuman what did he cherish most, and what would go back to relive.
He didn’t pause even for a moment and said, “My courtship days with Geetika”.
Nothing about career, material gains, fame.
I’ve always said the smartest thing he ever did was to win over and marry Geetika.
She made him a better man and their love story is an enduring one. Beyond time.
I have known her since she was a teenager and she remains a rare gem. She is more beautiful, graceful, gracious and warm with every passing year.
There are so many incredible memories. I tell Geetika she should write a book.
People don’t go away just because they leave their physical body.
You feel their presence through a message, a dream, the quirks in their children, their faces, the way they talk, and through signs.
Happy birthday Anshuman. I bet you are conquering a higher Universe with the same know it all smile and a twinkle! You truly are a special soul.